Holiday Weekend

MEMORIAL DAY IS MORE THAN GRILLING HOT DOGS!!!!!

A message by Mean Old Man
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I’m fit to be tied that the once sacred holiday of Memorial Day has been overtaken by the Commies as nothing but the first picnic day of the year!!!!  
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Most of these twerps never even experienced time in the U.S. Armed Forces, let alone the joy of fighting in a war.  Damn!!!!  In my time Decoration Day (that’s what we used to call it) meant something more than putting stupid hot dogs and hamburgers on a grill.  It meant remembering all of the brave souls who fought the good fight and kept freedom alive in our country.  Not anymore!  Now all you see are nitwit Memorial Day store sales.  Every time I see some dumb used car salesman (they’re all either liars or dummies—most of the time both) pitching a “sale” in honor of our Vets I want to puke up my possum stew!!!!
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I remember one Decoration Day when I was a kid.  Pops got our butts out of bed before dawn (he was a WWI vet) and Mom made sure we had on our Sunday best.  We went to the memorial plaque located in the cemetery where a group of military men were at attention.  A bit before “Taps” was played,  my one pal Lefty, who was always the instigator, lured me away to another part of the graveyard.  Then he whoops out two gloves and a baseball from behind a gravestone and coaxed me into playing a little catch.  Well, ol’ Lefty was no Sandy Koufax  and he soared one right towards ol’ Pops’ head  in the middle of TAPS being played.  Of course, this interrupted the entire ceremony and poor Pops was a little more than embarrassed.
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I’ll always remember going home on that day because Pops gave me  a beating Joe Louis would be proud of!!!  After that he dragged my bloody carcass out into the woods to chop a few trees down to get wood for the stove.  Never understood that one, since we had a trusty coal stove in the house.  I can still recall the pain my head and the rest of my body as I wielded the ax and Pops sat on a stump drinking a large bottle of Ballantine and smoking Chesterfield after Chesterfield.   And I can still taste the blood seeping into my mouth as it ran down my face from my forehead.  It was brutal, degrading and embarrassing….and I loved it!!!!!  Because I learned a thing or two about patriotism that day and how important it is to respect the flag and the military thanks to my old man---what a guy.  I miss him a lot.  You’re probably wonderin’ what ever happened to ol’ Lefty.  Well, fact is, his dad wasn’t as nice a guy as Pops was.  None of us ever saw Lefty again.  Gummo thinks he may have hopped a train to Pittsburgh.  I hope he made it!!!
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Today the celebrations are so prissy!!!  Granted, Me, Gummo, Birch and Tiny keep our backs straight and our guts sucked in on Memorial Day.  And we don’t pop open a Steg until Old Glory is saluted!!!!   The way it should be!!!!!
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So all you panty wastes have a good Memorial Day.  Maybe you can grill some soy burgers on your 10 thousand dollar grill.  As for me, I’ll be grillin’ some good ol’ groundhog patties and some baked potatoes on  my portable old fashioned charcoal grill and eat them on some of Thelma Jeans champion biscuits!!!   Later I’ll head down to the Legion with the boys  and  hoist a few beers and smoke a few Lucky’s (the cigarette that went to war) In honor of all the fallen----including my old friend Lefty!!!  That’s my idea of a holiday.
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I hate you all!!!!!!!!!