All Hallows Eve

MY PORCH LIGHT WILL BE OUT TONIGHT, SO STAY AWAY TRICK OR TREATERS!!!!
.

A Halloween Message by Mean Old Man
.

Once again, we are upon that stupid holiday (?) called Halloween.  Damn!!!!!!  Each year all the handout seekers come to my door asking for free candy or money.  And the twerp heads can’t even have the common decency to say ‘thank you” when they get it!!!!  Against the wishes of my missus, I will not be taking any of these future welfare recipients into my living room this time.  I remember one year some punk who looked about 25 years old coming inside.  He looked as if he’d had twelve Stegs and some of that funny tobacco for dessert.  The thing that really got to me was his looking around my place----particularly at the picture of Ronald Reagan with the gold-trimmed frame over my fireplace.  I made a point to let this vagrant know that if I ever saw him within a mile of my homestead again he would have the opportunity to meet my two cousins, Smith and Wesson.  Needless to say the loser never showed again.
.

In my day we celebrated Halloween too.  But there was an age limit.   Once I turned 9 my old man put an end to it.  “Dimwit, it’s time for you to go out and find a part time job!  Not dress up like a little panty waste!!!”  I remember him saying, right after he belted me after finding me dressed in my homemade Superman outfit.  And when Pops found out that I used Mom’s red dress to make a cape, he flung me down the stairs and kicked my sorry butt into the coal chute for the night.  I remember laying on top of the coal with the cold October air seeping through the corners of the basement window.  My legs and back were in dire pain and my head too.  It was brutal, inhumane and degrading punishment for a 9 year old----and I loved it!!!  Because it taught me a lesson that childhood has its expiration date and adulthood starts!!!  Good ol’ Pops, when they made him they broke the mold.  I miss him a lot.
.

It ain’t that way today. Kids of all ages go out begging.  No doubt, a product of the welfare state.  And what about the real joy of Halloween-----horror?????  In my time we had real monsters played by real men.  Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney and Bela Lugosi.  Bela was the best vampire ever.  Not like these prissy vampires today in those Twilight films.  My dumbbell granddaughter, Molly is in love with some nerd who portrays a vampire in that movie.  She has a poster on her bedroom wall of him, hoping he will stop by in the middle of the night to take her away and marry her.  What a load of balderdash!!!!  I’ve seen this nitwit in the silly movie and I have news for little Molly.  This jerk may stop by someone’s bedroom to take them away in the middle of the night, but most likely it won’t be a girl named Molly but a guy named Roy!!!!!!!!!!!!
.

So, all you commies enjoy your Halloween.  Maybe if you trek down to DC and stop at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. you’ll pick up a free, pie in the sky health insurance policy to put in your trick or treat bag.  As for me, I’ll be in my living room, drinking a few Stegs, smoking a Lucky while listening to the soothing sounds of Sammy Davis, Jr. singing “Me and My Shadow” on the ol’ victorola.  Happy Halloween and remember, I ain’t takin’ any!!!!!!!!!
.

I hate you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!