Joke roundup

From Blondesense :

If...President Bush were to tell me that it's sunny outside, while a lowly mule was telling me that the sky was falling, I would without hesitation go down to the basement and stay there until the mule told me that the sky had stopped falling.And although the mule could stay in the basement with me, I would not permit the President the accommodation.The Dark Wraith would not have enough extra food for both a wise mule and a dumb ass. -- The Dark Wraith

Welcome to the Late Show, ladies and gentlemen. It's like the Supreme Court, anyone can get in here.--David Letterman

We're learning more and more about Tom Delay. ... He was nicknamed, 'Hot Tub Tom,' got kicked out of Baylor for drinking and ... became a wild party animal who drank 10 martinis a night, or as they call it in Washington, a Kennedy. --Jay Leno

Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan is retiring. President Bush has already launched a search for the most inexperienced, incompetent candidate he can find. No, they'll find a replacement for Greenspan as soon as they figure out what the hell it is he does --David Letterman

President Bush has pledged to grant millions of dollars in tax breaks to national casino companies rushing to rebuild casinos along the Gulf Coast, giving residents who haven't already lost their house a chance to do so.--Daily Show commentator Lewis Black