TO HELL WITH FATHERS DAY!!!! WHERE HAVE ALL THE “REAL” FATHERS GONE???
A Fathers Day Message by Mean Old Man
I don’t see why we even bother to celebrate Fathers Day nowadays since there really ain’t any real fathers left.
In my day your Father was the judge, jury and lord high executioner of the household; his word was law, and boy, if you disobeyed. My old man was one helluva guy, I’ll tell you that! He didn’t take no bunk from anybody, including us kids. I remember once when he came home from the mines and ordered me to shine up his “going to the beer garden shoes”. Pops always enjoyed heading down to Statzi’s bar on Friday and Saturday nights. It gave him a chance to get away from Mom (who, by the way, was hardly ever allowed to leave the house, except for groceries and church).
Well, I had been out in the backyard playing catch with my pal Bobo and had forgotten to take the ol’ brush, spit and polish to Pop’s shoes. I can still see the look of fright on poor Bobo’s face when Pops came out the back door and screamed bloody murder because I forgot to do my duty. Poor Bobo started balling like a little girl (and he was no wimp, mind you) taking off through the backyard. Good ol’ Pops proceeded to grab me by the neck and swung me like a rag doll into the kitchen where I landed flat on the floor in front of his two muddy shoes. I then felt the whack on the side of my head from one of them and then another and then another. By the time that was over, I can remember holding the shoe brush and feeling as if my head had been put through Mom’s trusty wringer washer. All the while I was shining his shoes in pain and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and had the taste of blood in my mouth. Afterwards, Pops dragged me along to the bar with him where I was ordered to shine the shoes of each and every one of his drinking buddies---for free!!!
It was brutal, humiliating and degrading---and I loved it!!! Because Pops taught me an important lesson---always do your job on time and then you will save yourself a lot of trouble. God , what a great guy!!! I miss him a lot.
Kids today have it too easy because their dads won’t discipline them. Hell, if you even so much as look at your little runt the wrong way you can be put in jail. That’s what’s wrong with our liberal, sissified society. We are turning out a bunch of panty wastes while the Chinese and the Ruskies are raising “real” men---real men who will one day invade our country and enslave us if we don’t get back on track!!!
But don’t tell that the liberal/commies; they’ll just accuse you of hurting the kids.
Like my Pop used to tell me, “kids are to be seen and not heard.” He was right, of course. I raised my two ungrateful twirpheads with an iron hand, not that they appreciated it. Whenever they do come over to visit, it is usually for money or a damned birthday gift. I got a great pair of sons. Damn!!!!
And don’t even talk about my stupid grandkids. I’ve never met such a moronic litter of goofballs in my life what with their Beatle music and cell phones. In my day, we didn’t even have a phone. If you wanted to talk to your buddy you opened the window and screamed your lungs out. Try that today and the nanny state supervised police officers will throw you in jail for disturbing the peace. And how about the way these young punks wuff down food? Back in the day, when I was a kid, you ate three times a day (if it was a good year); breakfast , lunch and dinner (dinner time was always up in the air, since Mom wasn’t allowed to serve the meal until Pops got home from work---and the time varied as to whether or not he and his pals stopped at the beer garden on their way home). Now, kids are eating all the time!! All these kids today look the same—fat and chunky!!! Of course, we had one or two kids like that in my day and me and my pals Creep, Skeets and Tiny used to have a ball taunting them, but now since they all look the same these kids today have no one to make fun of but themselves!!! The great childhood joy of bullying chubby kids is now lost forever---thanks Liberals!!!
Like I said earlier, Pops was the head of the house, but it’s not that way in today’s Obama world. Now, the Moms seem to have as much if not more power than the Dads. Hell, some Dad’s even carry “man purses”; what the Hell is a “man purse” anyway!?!?!!! What this country needs is the return of good ol’ family values. A nation where a working man could come in from work to a home cooked meal and a pair of shined drinking shoes. Damn!!!!
So, all you dimwit fathers, enjoy your Father’s Day. Maybe your wives will let you have a bottle of Zima after you cart your kids from this game to that game or wherever. As for me, I’ll be sitting in my private living room, hoisting a bottle of Steg (one of many that day), smoking some Lucky’s (the cigarette that went to war) and listening to the great sounds of Eddie Fisher (now there’s a guy that knew how to treat the ladies!) singing “OH MY PAPA”.
That’s my America; that’s my Father’s Day.
Happy Fathers Day and GO to Hell! I hate you all!!!!!
1 hour ago