MY PORCH LIGHT WILL BE OUT TONIGHT, SO STAY AWAY TRICK OR TREATERS!!!!
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A Halloween Message by Mean Old Man
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Once again, we are upon that
stupid holiday (?) called Halloween. Damn!!!!!! Each year all the
handout seekers come to my door asking for free candy or money. And the
twerp heads can’t even have the common decency to say ‘thank you” when
they get it!!!!
Against the wishes of my missus, I will not be taking any of these
future welfare recipients into my living room this time. I remember one
year some punk who looked about 25 years old coming inside. He looked
as if he’d had twelve Stegs and some of that funny
tobacco for dessert. The thing that really got to me was his looking
around my place----particularly at the picture of Ronald Reagan with the
gold-trimmed frame over my fireplace. I made a point to let this
vagrant know that if I ever saw him within a mile
of my homestead again he would have the opportunity to meet my two
cousins, Smith and Wesson. Needless to say the loser never showed
again.
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In my day we celebrated
Halloween too. But there was an age limit. Once I turned 9 my old man
put an end to it. “Dimwit, it’s time for you to go out and find a part
time job! Not dress up like a little panty waste!!!” I remember him
saying, right
after he belted me after finding me dressed in my homemade Superman
outfit. And when Pops found out that I used Mom’s red dress to make a
cape, he flung me down the stairs and kicked my sorry butt into the coal
chute for the night. I remember laying on top
of the coal with the cold October air seeping through the corners of the
basement window. My legs and back were in dire pain and my head too.
It was brutal, inhumane and degrading punishment for a 9 year old----and
I loved it!!! Because it taught me a lesson
that childhood has its expiration date and adulthood starts!!! Good ol’
Pops, when they made him they broke the mold. I miss him a lot.
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It ain’t that way today. Kids
of all ages go out begging. No doubt, a product of the welfare state.
And what about the real joy of Halloween-----horror????? In my time we
had real monsters played by real men. Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney and
Bela Lugosi.
Bela was the best vampire ever. Not like these prissy vampires today in
those Twilight films. My dumbbell granddaughter, Molly is in love with
some nerd who portrays a vampire in that movie. She has a poster on
her bedroom wall of him, hoping he will stop
by in the middle of the night to take her away and marry her. What a
load of balderdash!!!! I’ve seen this nitwit in the silly movie and I
have news for little Molly. This jerk may stop by someone’s bedroom to
take them away in the middle of the night, but
most likely it won’t be a girl named Molly but a guy named
Roy!!!!!!!!!!!!
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So, all you commies enjoy your
Halloween. Maybe if you trek down to DC and stop at 1600 Pennsylvania
Ave. you’ll pick up a free, pie in the sky health insurance policy to
put in your trick or treat bag. As for me, I’ll be in my living room,
drinking
a few Stegs, smoking a Lucky while listening to the soothing sounds of
Sammy Davis, Jr. singing “Me and My Shadow” on the ol’ victorola. Happy
Halloween and remember, I ain’t takin’ any!!!!!!!!!
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I hate you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!