Sunday, March 03, 2013

Guns make us all safer or shoot a beer out


A Message of Tolerance by Mean Old Man

 Well, it seems to happen every couple of years and here we go again. Once again, the puny commie liberals are trying to take away my constitutional right to bear arms. Why should I be surprised?? Damn!!!!! After the school shooting a few months ago all of the hippie, flower power, Chairman Mao worshipping heathens came out of their closets (following their success on the gay marriage issue) and figured they could really soak their agenda on good God-Fearing, patriotic Americans like me. No doubt, the shooting up there in Connecticut was a tragedy, but does anyone think like me, that maybe if some of the teachers were packing (and maybe some of the older students, too) there would have been a different result??? That clown who did the evil deed would have been pushing up daisies before he got a single shot into anyone! But, of course, it’s all the fault of the proud gun owners of America. There’s nothing more fun than growing up toting a gun. 

My old man gave me my first gun when I was 6……a fine .22 caliber mini rifle. Gee, it was fun taking that out and picking off woodchucks and rabbits that were getting into Mom’s garden. And, I learned gun responsibility too. 

One time I shot a little off target when trying to down a squirrel and the bullet went straight into the living room window, barely missing Pops (who was having his traditional bottle [s] of Ballantine). The bullet directly blew apart Pops brew as the bottle shattered all over the wall as well as the beer. I can still recall the beating Pops gave me, not particularly, because I nearly killed him, but because I wasted a good bottle of beer on a count of my carelessness. Sometimes I can still feel the shiners he gave me on both eyes on that afternoon. But after that, I always aimed with good focus and never forgot the wonderful lesson Pops taught me. For the rest of my life, I could never hoist a bottle of Ballantine beer out of guilt. My preference is a cold Stegmaier. Good ol’ Pops…..he was one in a million. What a great guy…..I miss him a lot

. But now we are raising kids to be such wussies that we won’t even allow them to enjoy a toy gun. I mean, what is wrong with a two, or a three year old toting a plastic tommy gun???? Not only is it good masculine fun, but great preparation for when you get older (around 6 or 8) and can handle the real deal. 

Of course, my dumb grandson’s idea of a good toy is some dumb puppet or sissy doll. I don’t get it. And we wonder why this nation’s goin’ down the tubes!!!!! So, all you commies who want to ban firearms just remember there’s a thing called the fifth amendment to the constitution, or the first or third (I’m not sure which one but it’s there!!) that protects the rights of real Americans like me and my buddies Creep, Gummo and Skeets. 

After all, we fought the big war for you all to be free to act like pansies. Take that!!!! As for me, tonight I’ll spend some time at the Legion with those heroes, then I’ll come back to my home, sit back and pop open a Gold Medal Steg, puff on a few Lucky’s and watch the great Richard Boone, a real actor (to hell with Ben Affleck) in Have Gun Will Travel. Now there’s a show!!!! 

I hate you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Chief Hatuey said...

Gun control supporters are doing a great job on keeping guns in the forefront of many news outlets, and ignoring the real threat to our society…shoes.

1960: Nikita Khrushchev attacks a delegate desk with his shoe during a U.N. General Meeting in New York.

2001: British citizen and Al Queda operative Richard Reid (also known as Abdul Raheem and Tariq Raja) attempted to ignite explosives hidden in his shoes on American Airlines Flight 63 from Paris to Miami.

2008: Iraqi journalist Muntader al-Zaidi trys tries to behead President Bush by throwing his shoes.

Japan have recognized the dangers of shoes, and been making people take their shoes off before entering buildings for centuries.

I think we should make illegal to own Hollow-pointed wooden shoes from Holland and the ever so dangerous “Stiletto” Heels. Assault Combat Boots with high toe capacity, should be limited to 3 toes per boot. Hunting boots are okay, only if worn during hunting season and painted orange like kids toy guns.
How many lives we must loose before we start talking about the real epidemic affecting us, I say if we loose one life….its too much.

Stephen Albert said...

I love the mean old man. Kind of like the Archie Bunker of Coalbillies.

Mrs. G said...

Glad your dad punished you. It's a sin to waste beer.