Tuesday, November 20, 2007



By Mean Old Man

I'm angrier than Ronald McDonald in a health food store over the way the Liberal Commie parasites have ruined the sacred holiday of Thanksgiving!!
In my day Turkey day meant something; you got the hell out of bed three hours before dawn and grabbed your trusty rifle and went out into the cold for your grubb. And sometimes it rained--that cold hard November rain stung your skin, and you would sometimes slip on the wet leaves and crack your head open; but you kept on chuggin' until you got your turkey. And it wasn't one of those fancy supermarket turkeys either; you weren't really sure how much of a turkey you really had until you plucked all of the feathers off. I remember sometimes at the dinner table seeing a 10 pound turkey and Pops would hog most of that--so we were left with one thin slice, a few spoonfuls of sweet potatoes (if it was a good year) and maybe a slither of pumpkin pie. Our stomachs would be growling and our bodies shivering, it wasn't a day at the beach, in fact it was pretty sad--but we loved it!!! That was a good ol' Daniel Boone style Thanksgiving. But then all the prissy lefties had to come along and ruin all of the fun what with building their grocery stores and all that crap.
They even managed to convert my wife Thelma Jean; she makes a point of dragging me to Price Chopper every year to get a sissy butterball turkey--and a 25 pound one at that--all because my stupid sons along with their kids and wives (who, no doubt can't even muster up the act of boiling water) are coming over for dinner. Damn!!
Then after devouring the crappy dinner they will swarm like buzzards around the house--getting on my nerves while I'm trying to relax with an hour of Lawrence Welk. God, what did I do to deserve this!!! If I behaved that way around Pops back in the day he would tan my hide so good that you could make a decent pair of shoelaces out of it!!!! Nowadays, he'd be in San Quentin for child abuse--damned liberals!
And today kids don't even know what the holiday is about. How the good ol' Pilgrims came to Plymouth (just down the road apiece from yours truly) and kicked those Injuns into shape!! I wish we had a few of them Pilgrims around today. They wouldn't be coddling those teenage, I pod listening devil worshipers with dainty therapy--they'd fire 'em up at the stake!! Those fellas really gave it the ol' college try! Not like the hippies today.
So all you subversives have a nice Thanksgiving, maybe Ralph Nader will come over to put a recall notice on your gas stove. As for me, I'll skip most of the butterball and concentrate on Thelma Jean's biscuits (now that's a real meal for a real man), pop open a few Stegs and listen the champagne sounds of Lawrence Welk (after I put a muzzle on those Castro loving grandkids).

God Bless all in Bloggerville; Happy Thanksgiving. I hate you all!!!!


A Big Fat Slob said...

I can't wait for our traditional meal of tofurkey, organic brussel sprouts, long-grain wild rice, and soy milk.

mmmm, mm!

Gort said...

Slobby you're killing me. I had you figured for shake n'bake chicken, stove top and frozen veggies.

Anonymous said...

What about a good old fashion Cheese Steak?