Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Idiot watch

A Wilkes-Barre man was arrested on Monday after he shot his microwave oven. It's not clear if the microwave was the target or if he doesn't like it when the Hot Pockets come out so hard that you can't chew them.

If you have warrant out for your arrest the best thing to do is take a nap at 1 AM when you are shitfaced and behind the wheel of a car.

I don't know if this is a typo but the CV reported that a hooker wanted $102 for her services at the Mohegan Sun casino in Plains Twp. Why the extra two bucks? The parking is free.

Then there is this.

A woman commanded her Pit Bull to bite a guy in South W-B then pointed a gun at him and when he tried to get it away from her she bit him. Maybe we need a vicious people ordinance instead of a vicious dog ordinance.

Note: I've tried to teach my last 3 Golden Retrievers to attack on command without success. The last training tool was to whack a mannequin in the crotch with a tree branch while yelling Nixon. It didn't work.


Anonymous said...

The extra $2 is a gas surcharge.

Anonymous said...

Try to keep up with their leaders

AboveAvgJane said...

The dogs probably didn't care if the mannequin was getting attacked. Maybe you should have someone hit you in the crotch with a tree branch and see if they attack then.

Big Dan said...

The $2 was for a 2% WB Whore surcharge tax. To Berkheimer.

Big Dan said...

What's with all these pitbull incidents in WB, btw? Sheesh!

Big Dan said...

The guy who shot the microwave:

"Shaver was going through some emotional problems "

Did he have to take it out on the poor microwave? All it ever did to him, was make him tasty hot pockets, I tellz ya! The microwave didn't deserve such a fate!

I heard the microwave is contacting the MCLU - Microwave Civil Liberties Union!

I'll be here all ze veek...

Mrs. G said...

Thanks for the idea, Jane. Maybe I'll try that just to see if it works and if our little monster will protect me. Either way, it should be interesting. I'll let you know the outcome.

Anonymous said...

So long as the guy's gun was registered, what's the big deal? He shot a microwave, on his own property. Stupid, yes; even comical, but illegal??
Also, whores in a casino? Really??? If Rendell truly wants to pull the state out of near bankruptcy, why not legalize prostitution, at least on the grounds of the casinos. that would be cool.

AboveAvgJane said...

Mrs. G

I'll await your results.

We have cats. They only attack when their food bowls are empty. :)