Sunday, December 10, 2006

Yuletide greetings

Me, Mrs. G and the ridiculous retriever just got back from our annual trek to the wilds of southern Luzerne County to execute and relocate a peaceful blue spruce tree that will dominate our living room for the next month. All in all an enjoyable experience. Many families with young children were there and the kids argued over which one to take home.

Our dog was beside himself with so many trees to choose from. After looking around for a while we found our victim and the dog concurred by lifting his leg and watering it. The people at Helen and Eds drilled the hole, bagged it and tied it to our Jeep with their usual good cheer.

After a couple of stops we arrived home and dragged the thing into the house. Now we are pulling out the decorations and lights hitting the first snag of the season when a string of white lights already in the window stopped working. This is the first of many snags to come. Now against my will I've been pressed into sevice hanging ornaments on our unwilling dead vegetation. Mrs. G's ornaments aren't just a collection of bulbs and garnish but each one is a collectors item individually wrapped and boxed. I probably could get a fortune for the stuff on ebay. Putting it up isn't bad but when taking it down trying to find the box it goes into is challenging.

All in all being the lazy bastard that I am I could skip the fuss. I don't even celebrate my birthday as it was so long ago I don't even remember the day. And the sense of obligation to give people gifts is grating. Why do we need an excuse to give our friends and family a gift? Many times during the year I have picked up a book or household item for someone who has expressed a desire or need for such an object. A few weeks ago Mrs. G's Mom noticed that my cutting boards have worn out during the years and knowing of my culinary skills she bought me some new ones. What an absolutely great thing to do out of the blue! It's great to be loved.

Our little Fat Cat was unimpressed by all the commotion. I'm with him.

Thanks to Miss C and Old Hoss for the illustrations.


Northern_Girl said...

Our holiday decorations were unearthed today, too. I'm such an old scrooge - all I see is work when I should be seeing fun and whatnot with the kids. I need an attitude adjustment and NaDruBloDa will probably do it. Although I may need more than one.

Anonymous said...

I'm angrier than Brittany Spears at a Fruit of the Loom Convention after reading the Commie Gort's whiny words about our Savior's Birthday!! In my day we knew how to celebrate the blessid event; Papa would get his trusty Sittin Bull hatchet and we would trek onto the Erie Lackawanna grounds and snip us a great ol' tree--and a little coal for some good measure--and you know what? It didn't cost us a cent!! Then we'd get back to the old homestead and Mama would get the ol' GE lights out for stringing--these weren't like those prissy lights you get today that are made by some 2 year old in South America--these were made right here in the good old US of A--and if one light wasn't working then they all didn't work and you spent hours of misery and frustration trying to find the one that didn't work so you could light up the damned tree--and we loved it!!! Then, when you had all the fixins together, Mama would bring in some of her famous bread pudding--and I hated bread pudding--but if you didn't finish it Papa would take his belt to your hide--and it was great!!!! Come Christmas morning we didn't expect St. Nick to give us these Jap made electronics that the spoiled brats of today get--we were lucky if we got a toy--more than not we would reach into our ol stockings and find a tangerine--and believe me, it was a great Christmas if there wasn't already a mouse in there feasting on it!!! And We had to keep our jollyness to ourselves, because we had to be quiet since it was Papa's only day off from the coal mine and when he wasn't napping he was drinking a few Stegmaiers--{the greatest damned beer in the world all you Zima chugging Commies!!}. By dinner he was in his usual alcohol stupor and since he always insisted on getting the ol yuletide goose out of the coal stove--it was a good day if he didn't drop all over the damned floor!! So all you Commie liberals out there enjoy your merry "X-Mas" and don't forget to put all your prissy Jap lights up and all your foreign toys and your stupid corporate trees that you paid a mint for--as for me, I'm heading out to the ol coal grounds and see if I can snatch a good ol' American tree---I hate you all!!!! And Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!! Damn YOU!!!!!!!

LVDem said...

who the hell writes that shit. I swear it is like listening to my uncle.

Gort said...

The mean one has a way spreading cheer.

Northern Girl, It is a lot of work. I'm with you on the need for an adjustment. NaDruBloDa may become the biggest thing since festivus.

Anonymous said...

Ditto to Northern Girl. If I didn't have a 5 year old who loves this time of year I'd bah-humbugging also. The wife says she would have never married me if she new of my distaste for the holidays. Well good riddance to all!!!!