Friday, December 14, 2007

More snow on the way

The hyperactive weather forecasters are predicting a blizzard this Sunday but that doesn't bother some people.


By Mean Old Man

I'm happier than Michael Jackson at a pre school that we are about to have a blizzard this weekend! Of course, all the namby pamby liberals are hurrying to their BMW's to go to the grocery stores to stock up on milk and eggs and bread. God, what a bunch of sissies!!!
In my day we had real snowstorms; you'd wake up in the morning and the white stuff would be up to your window on the second floor. And then you had to dig a path out to the 'ol outhouse to do your business. By the time you got back into the house you were shivering and your whole body was numb from near frostbite--and if you complained about it the old man would crack you across the face. It was tough, hard and bitter--and we loved it!!!

And we didn't have fancy snow blowers to remove the stuff either. Back then you grabbed the trusty shovel and dug out with nothing but your ol' arms to depend on. I remember one time my old man told me to clear a path for the milk man and I snuck in the back to sneak a Lucky--of course, he caught me and laid a shiner on my eye the size of Montana! I remember continuing the shoveling and seeing the blood dripping on the white snow. Ol' Pops told me to make sure not to get any of the blood on the sidewalk or he'd shine up my other eye just for good measure! Pops was the greatest; I miss him a lot.

And what is it with these little liberal twirpheads running around in snowsuits??? In my day we were lucky to have a coat and a stocking cap. And you'd come inside and the snow on your clothes would melt and you'd be dripping like a faucet. Then Mom would start screaming about her floor and wack you one with her trusty pie roller. It hurt like Hell, but as Mom said, "at least it takes your mind off of the cold weather". Ol' Mom always knew best! Not like the fascist commie Moms of today, what with their fancy child seats in the back of the car and all the sissie stuff designed to ruin the fun of being a kid.

All the Commies with their environmental mumbo jumbo have ruined the great weather we used to have. They send up their rocket ships to the moon and we get droughts in the southland and rain in the north (where we don't need it). I remember Winters where it snowed everyday--a foot of snow everyday!! Sometimes kids would get lost and wouldn't be found til next Spring!! And we had to walk to school whether it snowed or not--five miles back and forth (with no commie snowsuits to wear); We loved it!!! Nowadays it's different; kids have those fancy school buses to cart them a quarter mile and they have no appreciation for the pain of being a kid. My stupid grandkids even get my geeky sons to drive them to school--can you imagine that?!!!!!!!!! The only way Ol' Pops would ever drive me to school was if he kicked my butt for cussing and I landed in the schoolyard! Damn!!!

So, all you commies out there, enjoy the blizzard. Maybe you'll come to appreciate the hard winters that I used to have to deal with. Maybe you'll forget to go to the store and starve for a day (unless you're stocked up on Chinese commie rice); and maybe, just maybe, my stupid sons will lose at least one of my grandkids in the snow and I can have a peaceful Yuletide. As for me, I'm lighting up a Lucky, popping open a Steg and listening to the soothing sounds of Lawrence Welk while Thema Jean cooks some venison stew. Enjoy the snow; I hate you all!!!

1 comment:

Ol' Froth said...

Hey Gort, I'm alive, just been way too busy to blog, but trying to get back into the swing of things. Blogger however, is giving me fits!