Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Keep Christ in Christmas decorations

A guest post.


A Yuletide Message from Mean Old Man

As if destroying the reputations of many fine men in Luzerne County government wasn’t enough, the Commies have now pulled the last straw by banning the baby Jesus from the courthouse lawn. Damn!!!

The subversive American Communist Liberty Union (ACLU) has succeeded in pulling off this outrage and they knew what they were doing. I bet if good ol’ Judge Ciavarella was still on the bench this never would have happened. He would have ridden those ACLU’ers in their prissy pin-striped suits out of town on a rail (preceded by a good old fashioned tar and feathering). And Misters Conahan, Skrepenak, Mericle, etc. would all be on board to help out our sainted martyr judge. God bless all of those fine young men who sacrificed their reputations by pleading guilty instead of choosing the horror of putting their families through a long phony kangaroo trial.

Christmas just ain’t what it used to be; in my day we acknowledged Christ and all his teachings. We didn’t waste our time shopping in stores, either. You were lucky to have food on the table, let alone a toy (at least that’s what Pop’s told us). I remember one Christmas when my buddy Smirk got a dart board. I came home and asked Pops why Santa didn’t get me something neat too. Ol’ Pops told me something I’ll never forget: “There is no Santa Claus, dummy! You best know now, because you have a long and hard life ahead of you and you better shape up because you’re certainly not going to get by on your good looks!” I remember running up to my room and crying. To find out there was no Santa was the worst thing to happen in my young life to that point. I was heartbroken, felt as if my stomach had been ripped apart, could not sleep for days nor could I eat; and you know what? I loved it!!! Because my ol’ Dad taught me one of the most important lessons that I could ever hope to learn: Don’t go through life being a dreamer, be a doer!!! That’s why from the start I always told my two slug kids Clay and Harlan that there was NO Santa Claus.


Now I hear that they will allow the nativity display so long as they place Santa next to Jesus. Damn!!!!

If there is anything that does not mix it is oil and water and Jesus and Santa. Santa is a commie smokescreen, Hell bent on hypnotizing our young people into forgetting the true meaning of Christmas: love, forgiveness, peace on Earth---GOD! The subversive who came up with this latest idea of putting Christ and Santa together should be hung by the neck right in the middle of Public Square on Christmas morning!!!!! Hell, I’ll even spot a few bucks for the rope!

Kids today have it too easy and they have no idea of the sanctity of the holiday. Not only that, but I have to endure all of the commercial hoopla and the commune –like carolers who come to my door with their whiny voices. They always seem to upset my livestock and my champion bulldog, Titus, with their high pitched drone. So much for a peaceful Christmas!!!

Then there’s the nutty practice of taking the little runts to sit on Santa’s lap. I don’t want to come off as a hypocrite, but I must confess that when they were kids, I used to take my two slackers to see Santa and now I sometimes get stuck doing the same with their little punks (hey, I’d rather sacrifice a few principles rather than spotting a painful shiner courtesy of Thelma Jean’s pie roller). Taking kids to sit on Santa’s lap is a form of child abuse. Honestly, have you ever seen a little twerp in a Santa picture who is NOT crying like a banshee??? You see my point; besides, I know for a fact that the a few of these “Santas” are actually some old Legion buddies of mine who do the job to secure some extra beer money for the holidays (Hi there, Jinks and Elmo!!!). I recall one time when I took my granddaughter Madison (what the Hell kind of a name for a little girl is that!?!) to see Santa she asked me afterwards “Why does Santa smell like beer?”. I told her that if she had to spend 364 days out of the year in the North Pole she would want a beer too. Hey, commies, at least I didn’t tell her there was no Santa!!!

So all you damned hippy subversives have a Merry Christmas (and a Happy Hanukkah to my Hebrew friends); don’t forget to go to church for your one time a year appearance. Then if you come home and find eggs and toilet paper on your house, and your precious Christmas decorations destroyed, blame yourselves for putting the fine young Judge Ciavarella away and allowing juvenile delinquency to flourish.
As for me, I’ll be in my room away from the madness that is my sad family, puffing on a lucky and swigging down a Steg, all the while listening to the sounds of the great Nat King Cole singing “The Christmas Song”. Hell, maybe I’ll put on a little Burl Ives “Holly Jolly Christmas” for good measure. To Hell with you all!!!


Santa responds to the Mean One

A jolly Ho Ho Ho to Lehigh Valley Ramblings for the photo.


Stephen Albert said...

"As if destroying the reputations of many fine men in Luzerne County government..."

He lost me after the 8th word.

Sgt. Joseph David US Army Ret said...

I don't agree on his assessment of the county, but a lot of things that this mean old guy says make sense.

McGruff said...

The problem with removing the manger scene is that the other side is already represented on the lawn. If you believe in God, that is a belief. If you don't believe in God, that is a belief.

Therefore, those who don't believe in God pushing this issue are represented every day of the year on the lawn with a "Nothing" monument. There is "Nothing" on the lawn right next to the manger scene so they are represented. They just can't see it.

Those who believe in God should be able to keep some sort of symbol up each and every day right next to their nothing if they really want to be fair and non-discriminatory.

Bongo said...

If you believe in God go to church. If you want to see a manjor scene you will find one there. I like strippers, but does that mean I am entitled to have a lap dance in the rotunda??? This whole debate is silly.

Anonymous said...

strippers on the courthouse lawn... yeah!!!!!
lets start our own holiday celebration. banggangticus.
get all decorations off of public property and govern. decorate and celebrate at home and/or in private.

Tony Thomas said...


God is supposed to be omnipresent. So he was already there at the courthouse. No need for plastic decorations then. If God is everywhere why have the decorations? They also violate the 2nd Commandment (You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.)

Therefore, since God is everywhere and the worshiping of graven images forbidden, there is no need for the decorations.

Anonymous said...

JediMaster9780, You are out of this world!

McGruff said...

Jedi, if I follow your logic then all images of Jesus need to be removed. The commandment does not prevent us from representing God as long as we represent all that he is and represent the true God according to our faith. We cannot reduce worshiping God to some inanimate or lifeless imagery. No one is going to the courthouse to worship the manger scene. The scene is simply to remind us it is that time of the year, the birth of Jesus Christ. We are not idolizing their image, merely displaying it like ourselves.

Didn't God create a likeness of himself in all of us as humans? SO should we all disappear?

Tony Thomas said...

If you take the commandment literally you should not have ANY images. There are many Christian sects who have none of that.

That is of course assuming that God created us in his image. I don't buy that. I find it hard to believe that if there is a God that it would make the human race like it. Surely with billions of planets there must be more intelligent lifeforms than us.

Big Dan said...

McGruff: I think your logic is faulty. An atheist representation would be a sign saying: "There's no such thing as God". The absence of anything religious is not representation of atheism.

Besides that difference of opinion, Merry ChristMaxx, max all those credit cards.

Merry Christmas to everyone: Gort, rightwingers, leftwingers, middlewingers, WingDingWingers. Everyone, be happy and be safe. And everyone keep an eye out for crooks in the courthouse, like you've been doing.

McGruff said...

The manger scene does not say "There is a God." Our founding fathers are rolling over in their graves over the use of the word God and what it means with respect to government.

Far from being rivals or enemies, religion and law are twin sisters, friends, and mutual assistants. Indeed, these two sciences run into each other. The divine law, as discovered by reason and the moral sense, forms an essential part of both. - James Wilson


Anonymous said...

curious where all you fucking good christians are in sugar notch. fuck the homeless. instead of worrying about pieces of plastic on a fucking lawn how about actually worrying aobut your fellow man.